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What if individually and collectively we systematically misunderstand that cause, and unwittingly perpetuate the very problems we think we are trying to solve? |
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For just too long, the issue of self-deception has been the realm of deep-thinking
philosophers, academics, and scholars working on the central questions of the human
sciences. The public remains generally unconscious of the issue and that would be
fine except that self-deception is so pervasive it touches every aspect of life.
ARBINGER’s ground breaking discovery offers a robust and systematic approach to addressing the problem of self-deception. |
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Assumptions & Applications
Self-Deception
It is the problem of not knowing one has a problem and resisting the possibility that one has a problem.
Check out the video that explains the problem of Self Deception
People-Problems
People problems manifest in a 1000 different ways. They include: poor communications, poor relationships, poor teamwork, conflict, silo thinking, low morale, not taking responsibility, poor leadership, not holding oneself accountable, resistance to change and more.
Most Consulting practices generally focus on behavior modification as a way out of People Problems: "What you're doing is causing a problem ... so the solution is simple. Stop doing it."
What is missing here?
Understanding and addressing the cause of the problematic behavior.
Problematic behavior didn't come from nowhere. Something drove it.
That's where Arbinger begins. With a theory of behavior that identifies the why of problematic behavior. After studying case after case, problem after problem, the Arbinger team came to a fascinating conclusion: the cause of virtually every problem, organizational and personal ... is the same.
It begins with the opposite of a moment of truth; it's a moment of untruth, of what we call self-betrayal. It's a moment when you make a choice ... that begins a remarkable, destructive and predictable process.
People Problems are NOT problems! They are merely symptomatic of the problem of Self Betrayal!
Way-Being
Have you ever received an apology that was not meant ?
You may probably say yes.
This leads us to consider 2 questions..
How can we know that the apology was not meant? And
What is more important? The apology or whether it was meant ?
Arbinger suggests that There is something deeper than behavior that other’s can sense, something that when wrong, undercuts the effectiveness of even the most outwardly correct behavior.
Pyramid
Freedom
1. THE VIEW THAT THERE REALLY IS NO FREEDOM:
Under this view, you can determine outcome A, B, or C in a person by changing the stimulus.
2. THE VIEW THAT FREEDOM CONSISTS IN OUR ABILITY TO CHOOSE OUR RESPONSE TO THE STIMULI:
This view takes the stimulus as a given and says that given the stimulus, we still have the ability to choose between course A, B, or C.
3. THE DEEPER VIEW OF FREEDOM IMPLICIT IN THIS MATERIAL:
This material says that while we of course have the ability to choose between courses A, B, and C, our freedom is actually far deeper and greater than that it is deeper because the stimulus isn’t a given. Our choice of way of being actually changes the way we see and experience stimulus. The diagrams below help to illustrate this deeper view of freedom:
The way we view the world and all that it throws at us is a function of our way of being. For example, in the box, we experience unkind words one way; out of the box, we experience them another way. The stimuli in these two cases will seem different to me based on my way of being. So our view of the stimuli we encounter is already a matter of choice. Freedom is essential to our experience of this entire diagram. It is not just limited to whether we do A, B, or C.
And obviously, this deep choice also determines how we do A, B, or C should we choose to do them.